Putting Apologetics in the Rear View Mirror

This is my second post. I want to use it to make some observations about apologetics. If you are not familiar with the term, here is the definition:

“Reasoned arguments or writings in justification of something, typically a theory or religious doctrine.”

Back in 2003, as I was going through the process to enter the Roman Catholic church, I was all about apologetics. This is a common phenomenon amongst candidates and catechumens. One example is John Cardinal Newman, who even wrote a famous work on doctrine called Apologia. Deciding to become Catholic is a very complex decision, and it involves a long process. There are many doctrinal obstacles and prejudices to work through. This is especially true when it comes to people who were Baptized in other Christian traditions. Bishop Fulton Sheen famously said—and I’m paraphrasing—“if Catholics believed half of what people say they believe, I’d be a Protestant too!” My point is simply that people new to Holy Mother Church tend to get really jazzed about apologetics. Cradle Catholics; not so much. The long path home starts with an inkling that one cannot immediately explain. Inklings lead to questions, and questions lead to research, and research leads to apologetics. Maybe in a future post, I’ll share the story of the moment that I realized that I was Roman Catholic, and no longer one trying to decide. This initial love affair with apologetics is further fueled by the fact that one’s Protestant friends and family often feel that one has a.) lost his mind, and b.) is spitting on the family tradition. Love usually wins out in the end, but a good grasp of some arguments that can demonstrate a credible thought process do much toward smoothing ruffled feathers. It is, too, an exciting time. Here meeting a Mother for the first time (Our Lady); there meeting new Aunts and Uncles (The Saints and Doctors of the Church), and experiencing new Sacraments and new aspects of prayer and spirituality. It can be heady stuff. Now you know where I was.

I’m not there anymore.

I picked this topic for one of my early blogs, because I want to lay the groundwork for what I want this site to be. Or, better stated, what I don’t want it to become. If you think Roman Catholics and Orthodox Christians are not really Christians, that’s your right. In fact, it is your sacred right. If you think the Pope is the Anti-Christ and the Holy See is the Whore of Babylon, that is your belief and I’m not going to change your mind. I’m also not going to argue with you. I’m not going to gird my loins and dive into a lake of apologia to try and get you to change your views or understand my spiritual road. I don’t have time. We don’t have time. Christianity is under attack. I don’t need to enumerate examples of that to anyone who is still reading this post. Frankly, I’m not at a place in my journey where I’m qualified to engage in that level of rhetorical Theology. With the limited time I have left, I am compelled to pray, to study, to (small ‘p’) preach, and to serve the community to the best of my ability with the humble talents Grace provides. My prayer is that this blog will become a small Apostolate. I will not allow it to be a forum for debate. I will gladly answer to the best of my ability any honest questions about doctrine, but I’m not going to stop my travels to bicker or try to defend the Church, which can after 2000 years, stick up for itself, thank you very much. I put apologetics in my rear view mirror, and I am focused on looking through the windshield toward the horizon. I eschew defense, and seek for deeper ways to love.

Pray for me.

Roads

I’m not sure how I got here. I am the son of a Lutheran Pastor. A child with a talent for public speaking at a young age who was almost certainly destined to follow in his father’s footsteps. For a very large portion of my life all “roads” pointed toward my one day becoming Pastor Paul. That was, it seems, not God’s plan after all. There was a period there of youthful anger. Those times followed by rampant ambition and some wild behavior. A stint in the United States Navy, which was a search for both adventure and travel, but also a search for purpose. I married a Roman Catholic, but that is not what put me here. Not directly, anyway. I’m not sure how I got here, but here I stand, and I can do no other. The oceans of water that have run under my bridge, the mountains of personal and shared struggle I’ve faced, and the deep paradoxes that have formed my spiritual self-identity have led me to a place where I strive in earnest, and not always successfully, to engage in formalized prayer twice a day. It is harder than one might imagine. I have a daughter who faces challenging medical issues. She needs transportation to many specialists. That’s time-consuming, but I don’t mind, because she is really an interesting and unique individual with a razor-sharp wit, and I love spending time with her. I have twin boys. They play different sports. I love watching them play sports, so I don’t mind the miles I log on the car or mini-van. Then there’s God. Now that is, indeed, a stark and halting sentence. The stress of the schedule, the constant worry about money and bills, the worry over the health and safety of parents and children, and the myriad other things that crash in on my consciousness, apparently do not fully meet the obligation of my vocation. I know many, many dads who live out a full and blessed vocation through their fatherhood. They are not just good men. They are great men. One day they will hear those most special words “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” I admire many of them and would like to be more like them. Then there’s God. God says, “you don’t get to stop there.” Let me be clear. I don’t hear God’s voice in my mind. I sense or feel this message. I don’t deny that I very well could be a flawed filter. Remember, though, that I don’t know how I got here. I am called to begin discernment on if I will join the Tertiary Order of Saint Dominic. That requires many things. One of those things is morning and evening prayer every day for the rest of my life. The only way I’m going to pull that off is by doing Vespers in my vehicle; hence, the name of this blog. Stay tuned. I shall strive to give you food for thought, and amusement at my feebleness.